We Couldn't Have Done This Without You
Friday, May 04, 2007... and of course, when i say "You", what i really mean is "Us".
time to get stoked! not only is the VB celebrating The Month of CN And JT Joining Forces About Two Years Ago At An Autolux Show, but it also looks like someone has made a movie about my life, and the magical adventures i go on almost everyday. i'm not really sure who made the movie, but looks like some pretty famous people are in it, and i'm genuinely touched that someone would go these extremes to honour my as-yet-brief, but nonetheless remarkable life on this planet. way to commemorate me! i'm so touched- this looks like it must have cost literally hundreds of millions in cold, hard $$$$$CAS$$$HHHHH$$$$$$$$$. i hope the CGI is good. anyway, the movie is about me and my trusty animal sidekick Alexius.
on the off-chance that you don't agree that i am noble, couragerous, stealthy, cunning, deadly, powerful, sexy and striped like A Tiger, my advice to you would be to go blow some monkeys back in your homeland of Douchebagistan. just do it. in fact, i heard you're not even from the main city of Douchebagistan, but rather the small, decrepit village of Lame, way out in the sticks. the population in the village of Lame has been in steady decline for years now, since everyone there seems to be afflicted with a mysterious Gheyness that won't go away. just last week, the UN unanimously vetoed a resolution to grant Douchebagistan a financial aid package consisting of my leftover springrolls and the remainder of a cigarette i smoked when i was drunk. initially, the package was going to include an old granola bar (peanut butter), but due to unforeseen circumstances (i got hungry), those resources had to be diverted elsewhere (my stomach). sorry about that.
anyway, if you think my trusty animal sidekick should be something other than a tiger, after you've blown the monkeys you can fill in this here form and inform me of your opinions, which i'll proceed to ignore, or at least indefinitely file away somewhere.
oh shit, looks like Bedtime For Toys are going to slay some asses tomorrow night! cinco de mayo yeahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
this post in homage to john riccardi, who is and shall remain my feudal lord for all eternity.
hom·age n
1. a show of reverence and respect toward somebody
2. allegiance or a formal public acknowledgment of allegiance on the part of a vassal toward a feudal lord
so, so much love to you all that it's almost unfathomable,
disdainfully yours,
/ :jt: | of | the | :vb: \, the 1st and Last.
Labels: bedtime for toys, douchebagistan, gheyness affliction, the golden compass
