Last thursday, Autolux reminded me why they are probably the best band on this planet, and I do thank them for that. Shit is so 100% Correct makes you want to bug their rehearsal space.


Play 23 Watt Apple Juice. 23 Watt Apple Juice...

I was also reminded, thanks to last thursday's show's opening band [not the pity party- they are excellent], about boredom, which in terms of live music, is personally irritating to me. We will discuss.

For me to go watch your show, it means I have to do two things, neither of which is necessarily desired or preferable-

<sub>1- I must leave my house.

2- I must pay attention to you.</sub>

If I have done these things, and you are boring, it means one of two things-

<sub>1- You don't realize you suck, and therefore have no taste in music.

2- You do realize you suck, and therefore have no shame.</sub>

Now, there is a lot of stuff you can do to try and disguise the fact that your band sucks. Take, for example, this band who opened for Autolux at last Thursday's show at the Glass House in Pomona. The last time I saw them, about 3 years ago, they were also opening for Autolux. They were a three piece, with the drummer singing. She sang like Nico. One dude played guitar. The other dude played bass, guitar, and computer. It was alright, it sounded like futuristic Nico, except less interesting. So now, I guess the bass/computer/guitar player has left, and they've got a New Lineup!!!!

The singer no longer plays drums, except when she does. Now she stands up and plays keyboards. The guitarist still plays guitar, except now he shreds. They got a new chick drummer. They also got a bass player. Now the drummer gets up and plays the flute, and the singer goes and sits down at the drums to remind us she can drum. The guitarist shreds. Now the bass player switches intruments with the flute-playing drummer, and the drummer/floutist plays bass. The guitarist shreds. The bassist/guitarist and drummer/floutist are now playing keyboards. The singer sings, drums, plays the keyboards, the drummer plays the flute, the drums, backup vocals, keyboards, the bassist keyboards, fluteboards, guitar, violin saw, jugband, shredding guitarist, gospel choir, the guitarist shreds, singin' like Nico, keytar, barking dog choir, harmonica, harpsichord, harmonium and the shredding guitarist.

I don't care if you can play 4 instruments and even play them well. If you can't use your skills to write a song that I can remember, you suck and I am bored, and all the instrument switching in the world can't hide this. You aren't fooling me, you are honing and intensifying my irritation. Here's an idea- switch your instruments with Autolux so we can get on with the show.

There's just so many ways to cover up the fact that your band aint got no songs. Instrument switching, high energy frenzy, low energy posturing, costumes, uniforms, between-song banter, jamming, shredding, wailing, volume, pedals, lighting, props, crap. You've got to be careful with these things. Misused, used inappropriately or incorrectly, they will backfire, and simply serve to make your shortcomings more obvious- sometimes glaringly so. I would love to call out a handful of bands on this nonsense, but I was advised this weekend by a trusted Advisor that I should not hate on local bands. Though it possibly calls into question the entire premise of this site, I think it's a wise rule of thumb, so I will now and henceforward refrain.

↓

So after that Autolux show I hightailed it back from Pomona to L.A. and caught the end of Elf Power. /Ruled. Ended the show with "Needle in the Camel's Eye." Eno. /Rulez.

Then saw Bedtime For Toys on Saturday. Lots of /hottness on stage and also rapping. Was a good and fun show! Had to leave early tho to feed a kitten with a bottle. I am calling him KEVIN but that name will apparently be changed when he is given away to my friends cuz I can't keep him. Here he is being rotisseried over a spit.




:.::.:::c:::..::n::v:b::::..

Labels: autolux, bedtime for toys, elf power, gratuitous instrument switching, in waves, no shame, no taste, the conversation

There's pins in my needles to even drive to Pomonia this evening to see my Favorite Living Band. Thats them ↑ Got some new members gonna rock 2x harder. WAIT. CAN YOU BRING ROCK TO THE GLASS HOUSE? I mean because////: It's glass. And you cant


throw stones(?) in


it


/oh that is poor

NO MATTER

If you're too much of a sissy to make a 40 minute journey, never fear. You can see Elf Power at Spaceland, which I would definitely do otherwise.

Last time I saw autolux was like 2 years ago when they opened for the great Shellac, which is, INcidentally, where i met JT. Young Tarma was living with the Inside Rocker at this time. TREACHERY AND TREASON LOL! No, no no. Now settle it down I am joshing you. But really. It is at this fateful meeting that An Alliance was formed. An alliance TO DESTROY. This alliance was named ALLIANCE PROTEIN LABORATORIES. Eleven months later, after having created No Protein (and what for?), VIOLATIONS BUREAU.NET, A REDUNDANT LINK TO THIS VERY SITE was born.

Success is not yet, but imminent. I am not even concerned about like rock Insider's finding out our plan. she ain't even link to this mug can you blee' dat? (editor's note- yes. you basically hacked into her site and posted inflammatory things w/out permission.)

Moving on ↓

Saturday at the Scene in Glendale



Attendance Is Mandatory

I actually like The Scene, too.


Elf Power | Never Believe

chris newcomer | allied protein labs bureau of violations

Labels: autolux, elf power, failure to synthesize protein, rock insider, shellac, the glass house

^{The Broken West Knight meets The Pity Party, gives props}^

Last night was the Last Night of the The Black Pine's residency at The Echo. If you missed this, probably not much was missed, because they are really, almost offensively, boring. Listening to them now, I wish I wasn't. Which is why when we went to the Echo last night, it was the plan to see their opening bands, and not necessarily them.

Why do they get a residency? Someone school me. It seems there has been a lately ongoing trend of really dreadful or at least questionably good bands being awarded residencies, then getting really good opening bands (bands that are way better than them) to open for them on any given Monday. Show up for the openers, leave for the headliner. Why is this? If your band sucks, don't get booked supporting bands that are so obviously better than you. Don't you want to not be embarrassed and shown-up at your Own Residency? Admittedly I have no idea how shows get assembled or by whom IM JUST SAYING.

Case in Points → Last night, where Eagle and Talon and The Pity Party increasingly Killed It. Tho i wish the Eagle Talons reign in some of the Screaming and temper the frenzy with some Vocal Melodies or Hooks here and there.


The Pity Party opens for *Autolux, with Midnight Movies on Thursday at the Glass House in Pomona, where I have been personally invitated to attend with special VIP Passes and Backstage Laminates its going to /rule.

_↓↓May Residencies in L.A._↓↓

Sasha @ Spaceland
The Dr. Fad Show Theme Song Band @ The Echo
Morningwood @ The Silverlake Lounge



The Dr. Fad Show Theme Song Band | Dr. Fad Theme

*_{Live @ the Double Door in Chicago, 5|11|05}

‾‾___cnvb__‾‾

Labels: autolux, dr. fad, eagle and talon, morningwood, sasha, the black pine, the pity party